It is not an attitude of pride, but of congruence to let go of people. You will continue to love them but with another perspective, from another level of understanding, comprehension and awareness.
It is the most difficult thing you will have to do in your life, and it will also be the most important: stop being linked to those who are not ready to love you.
Stop having difficult conversations with people who don’t want to change. Stop appearing for people who are indifferent to your presence. Stop giving your love and energy to people who are not ready to love you.
I know that your instinct is to do everything you can to earn the good graces of everyone you can, but it is also the impulse that will steal your time, your energy and your sanity.
When you begin to be in your life completely, with joy, interest and commitment, not everyone will be ready to meet you there.
That does not mean you have to change who you are. It means you have to get away from people who are not prepared to be with you.
If you are excluded, subtly insulted, forgotten or easily ignored by the people you spend most of your time with, you are not doing yourself a favour by continuing to offer them your energy and your life.
The truth is that you are not for everyone, and they are not all for you. That is what makes it so special when you find the few people with whom you have a genuine friendship, love or relationship: you will know how precious it is because you have experienced what is not.
But the more time you spend trying to force someone to be with you when they are not able, the more time you will be depriving yourself of that same connection. It’s waiting for you. There are billions of people on this planet, and many of them will meet you at their level, with the vibration of where they are, connect with where they are going.
But the longer you stay involved in the familiarity of people who use you as a cushion, a background option, a therapist and a strategist for their emotional work, the longer you stay out of the community you crave.
“Maybe if you stop showing up, you’ll be less loved.
Maybe they forget you completely.
Maybe if you stop trying, the relationship will end.
Maybe if you stop sending text messages, your phone will remain dark for days and weeks.
Maybe if you stop loving someone, the love between you will dissolve. “
That doesn’t mean you ruined a relationship. It means that the only thing that sustained a relationship was the energy that you and only you put into it. That’s not love. That is attachment.
The most precious and important thing you have in your life is your energy.
It is not your time that is limited, it is your energy. What you give to each day is what will create more and more in your life. What you give your time is what will define your existence.
When you realize this, you will begin to understand why you are so anxious when you spend your time with people who do not contribute to you, and in jobs or places or cities that do not suit you.
You will begin to realise that the most important thing you can do for your life, for yourself and for everyone you know is to protect your energy more fiercely than anything else.
Make your life a safe haven where only people who can care, listen and connect are allowed.
You are not responsible for saving people.
You are not responsible for convincing them that they want to be saved.
It is not your job to appear for people and give them your life, little by little, moment by moment, because you feel sorry for them, because you feel bad, because you “should”, because you are obligated, because, at the root of all this, you are afraid that they will not return the favour and that is not to love as love is to release those you love and are not ready to be with you so they live what they have to live while you move on to find someone with whom you’ll be able to share the reciprocity of healthy love. It is another level of consciousness.
It is your job to realise that you are the master and lover of your destiny and that you are accepting the love that you think you deserve.
Decide that you deserve a real friendship, a true commitment and a complete love with people who are healthy and prosperous.